There has been a particular area of my life this year which has introduced an intensive search for the pony within (where there is so much poop, there has to be a pony)! I have been looking within to where I need to regroup, clean up, let go and re-evaluate. What is “wrong with me” that I need to let go of?
It has become crystal clear to me this week: let go of not accepting who I Am. I have been making myself wrong for not being who THEY want me to be, and searching for why I created this situation. What I have come to realize is…that was the wrong question. The correct question that finally opened it all up was: WHAT LESSON IS HERE FOR ME TO KNOW?
And the answer was: I am not the kind of person this situation works for or with. It becomes challenging when you are working with a person who doesn’t want you to “know,” doesn’t want you to think or be involved, doesn’t want to address problems with you, etc… And what I realized was I was judging myself because I couldn’t conform! I am not that girl, and never was. I want to know and understand everything. I want to be involved, and involved in making the decisions. I want to address every problem and work together to resolve it. That’s who I am, and I had to accept and honor and be damn proud that I am that way.
We are so in fear of being wrong and making waves. We can be such people pleasers. It keeps us from honoring who we are and loving who we are which allows us to stand in our strength and work from a place of dignity, joy and clear communication. I Am a ballsy broad. I Am a passionate creative being. I Am an energetic ball of searching always, always for the truth. That’s who I Am. I accept it. I bloody revel in it. I shout yippee and who-hoo about it. That’s who I Am. Who are You?