Many of you are aware that thousands of dollars were fraudulently taken from one of my accounts. It was, and still is, very interesting to me as I watch myself traverse all the minutia of dealing with and handling this situation. When it first happened, I went into immediate reaction: fear, injustice and disbelief washed over me all at once. Then the secondary victim tape followed: why me? I’m the most honest person I know. Why would I attract this? Blah, blah, blah. As we learned in one of our seminars with Dr. Shannon Wilson, we react before our brain even registers that we are! But when I really got quiet and into my heart, I realized I wasn’t that upset. That I knew it would all work out. And to look for the pony, which I shared with you earlier: I have enough. Quit worrying.
Cut to the latest appearance weekend. It was the third one in a row. Flying every Thursday, working long hours Fri-Sun, flying home every Sun night. Everyone automatically said to me…”OMG, Dee/mom/honey/teacher…I don’t know how you do it. You must be exhausted. “My actress friend next to me would run over periodically and say, “Dee, I am so tired! Aren’t you exhausted?” And I would agree I was. And we would commiserate. But when, again, I stopped to really check in, I wasn’t exhausted. I was physically a bit tired from being on my feet all day, but exhausted? Not even close.
So I started watching this pattern we have of agreeing to react in the socially acceptable way. Being part of the group. Following what our parents modeled to us. And how the truth of how we were feeling was really different. Now grant you, I am very conscious of keeping my heart open, and my chakras open, and my Hara Line aligned, all of which helps you to stay conscious and realize when these “traditional reactions” happen and how out of alignment with conscious creation they are. But this realization of how we automatically fall to the negative side of the pendulum and into doubting the positive has opened up another expansion of self-knowledge in my self-creation process. I’m going to keep the drama for when I get paid to act, and commit to holding the balance and calmness in my life. Because I know that that is a big part of getting what I want. When I am balanced and happy and positive, the world wants to play with me in my sandbox. And I’m climbing in, baby!