I really want to understand this more, because it seems that it is easier for me, sometimes, to practice compassion with strangers more than with family and friends.
Example: There was a mother and daughter at the bell stand outside the airport with five huge bags. The mother only had cash. The porter would only take a credit card. It was 4:30a.m.
She tried calling someone who obviously was not going to answer. Tears were forming in her eyes. I walked away. Stopped. Turned back.
Because I heard a little voice whispering, “Compassion.” I told her if she has the cash, I would put it on my card. We completed the transaction. The porter looked at me, thanked me, and commented how we need more people like me in the world.
I replied, “Yes, in today’s world, we need to take care of each other.” Later, I spotted them on the flight I was taking. As she passed a little baby who had dropped her toy, she bent to retrieve it and played with her for a moment. Good, I thought. She’s passing it on.
Then there was a member of my family who I had tried to help in several ways. She had been irresponsible with the financial help I had offered and acted as though she were entitled to do so.
Compassion totally eluded me. I was angry. I was in judgement. I didn’t want to be. Compassion and love felt so much better. What did I need to learn?
Remember? Here is the guidance from the channel:
1) I had no connection to the mother at the airport, and therefore no expectation and no judgement.
2) There was no way she could disappoint me. She accepted it or she didn’t.
3) I took control of creating my response and creating the moment. With my family member, I was in reaction (out of my own creation).
4) Don’t throw your pearls before swine. In other words, don’t set yourself up for disappointment by offering gifts that people can’t/won’t receive. (My family member has a history of this.)
5) Keep my chakras open no matter what. Reaction = closed chakras = limited creation.
6) Sometimes, you just don’t belong in other people’s business even if you think you know better. I am not going to change my family member. I turn her creation over to her.
All this allowed me to move into an objective place where I could see clearly my role in how each scenario played out. You know the saying: “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
Don’t try to change what you can’t. Put and hold your attention on what you CAN change. It opens up a lot more energy to create with! And to love with!
“LEADERSHIP IS MORE ABOUT CLARITY THAN IT IS CONTROL”
– Mark Goulston