Strains of The Beatles “We Get By With a Little Help From Our Friends” has been playing in the background of my mind for days. I often reflect on the importance of friendship and how it has been a support throughout my life: friends that rescued me from alcoholic trauma in my younger years, friends that supported my mother in producing and executing her religious dramas at church, friends that were there for me during many acting traumas, friends that joyfully celebrated with me at the glorious news ( after 6 years) that I was pregnant!, friends that met me at the airport and enveloped me in love when I returned from New Zealand after Chris’s death, friends that are, and have always been, there in the trials and celebrations of my life.
My friends are my family that I have chosen. And even if we don’t see each other or talk to each other for months, the bond is strong and tight and unbreakable. It is love defined as choice. It is a knowing in my life I can always depend on. And I make sure that they feel the same: if you need me, call me. Reach out. I am here for you.
In the synchronicity of my life, one of my good friends emailed me the following love note. I wanted to share it with all of you, because it so touched me and because it is so very true 😛
NEVER FORGET YOUR FRIENDS A newlywed young man was sitting on the porch on a humid day, sipping ice tea with his Father.
As he talked about adult life, marriage, responsibilities, and obligations, the Father thoughtfully stirred the ice cubes in his glass and cast a clear, sober look on his Son.
“Never forget your friends,” he advised, “they will become more important as you get older.” “Regardless of how much you love your family and the children you happen to have, you will always need friends. Remember to go out with them occasionally (if possible), but keep in contact with them some how.
“What strange advice!” thought the young man. “I just entered the married world, I am an adult and surely my wife and the family that we will start will be everything I need to make sense of my life.”
Yet, he obeyed his Father; kept in touch with his friends and annually increased their number. Over the years, he became aware that his Father knew what he was talking about.
In as much as time and nature carry out their designs and mysteries on a person, friends are the bulwarks of our life.
After 70 years of life, here is what he, I and you will have learned:
Life goes on.
Children grow up.
Children cease to be children and become independent. And to the parents, it breaks their heart but the children are separated of the parents because they begin their own families.
Jobs / careers come and go.
Illusions, desires, attraction, sex….weakens.
People can’t do what they did physically when they were young.
Parents die but you move on. Colleagues forget the favors you did.
The race to achieve slows.
But, true friends are always there, no matter how long or how many miles away they are. A friend is never more distant than the reach of a need, intervening in your favor, waiting for you with open arms or in some way blessing your life.
When we started this adventure called LIFE, we did not know of the incredible joys or sorrows that were ahead. We did not know how much we would need from each other Love your parents, take care of your children, but keep a group of good friends. Stay in touch with them but do not impose your criteria.
Send this to your friends (even those you seldom see) who help make sense of your life….I just did… I include you in my circle of chosen friends. And I bless Us for that. Keep close to you those who are special. Make the time to nurture those relationships. We are never alone. We always have each other.
“The strong bond of friendship is not always a balanced equation; friendship is not about giving and taking in equal shares. Instead, friendship is grounded in a feeling that you know exactly who will be there for you when you need something, no matter what or when.” – Simon Sinek