This was, to quote Edward Albee, “one of the grandest days of my youth.” It was something that I had purposefully, passionately, and clearly intended to create. It was top on my bucket list for this year. And the Universe worked with me like a soul mate delivering beautiful flowers.
I had built it up in my expectation since the day I got word I was booked: expectation of myself, not the event. In a good way, my little girl became that child I remember all too well — someone who always chose to do her best, to get an A, to make the teacher proud. It did not escape me that my very speech was about how our Little Children are holding us back and in opposition to what we as adults want today. But on the day of the event, we were united in choice as one powerful intention: to move people, to educate people, and to “do really good.” I smile. My mom would always send me into any performance, whether it was a school test, a dance recital, or a modeling job, with “Do really good, honey.”
The place we WEREN’T in agreement were the weeks leading up to the event. I worked on this speech until I dropped. It began at least two months prior to the big day: writing, rewriting, writing again, studying, studying, presenting it to Freedom and Gabrielle, studying, presenting, tweaking. You get the picture. Lots of self-induced pressure. OK, worry. And I know what the channel says about worry. It’s the biggest way we sin toward ourselves and others.
It occurred to me that I could do the exact same steps without the energy of fear and lack of self trust. That’s what made the difference between what I wanted now, as my adult self, and what my little girl believed she had to “emotionally go through” to be good and successful. If it were a core belief, it would read, “If I struggle and worry and work really hard and don’t trust myself, I’ll do really well.”
We are going to have fun, I told myself. We are going to have fun and move people and connect with them from my heart and open their minds and awaken them to the importance of integrating with their little child.
And so I did.
And it was amazing.
And now my little girl trusts me more, and next time we’re going to have a lot more fun brilliantly creating the desires of my heart.
Because creation should be that: easy and fun! I can’t wait to share it with you in a month.
You’re gonna be proud!
“There is a lot of pressure put on me, but I don’t put a lot of pressure on myself. I feel if I play my game, it will take care of myself.”
– LeBron James