Sometimes the best way to teach is sharing the teacher’s personal journey. That’s what I am going to do with you today.
I had noticed some anxiety within me. Feeling restless. I attributed it to a slight health challenge, but I knew in my gut it was something else. When I went to my HEART…the place where all truth resides…I heard it clearly: It’s about the baby coming. My eyes welled up. I felt the truth of this knowing. Why? I asked. Why am I anxious about such a joyful event as being a grandmother?
The first thing I heard was, “Because of Gabrielle.” Wow. It was true. For thirty-five years it had been the dynamic duo of Dee and Gabrielle. We were bonded beyond understanding. How was this going to change our relationship? Bring us closer? Create a distance? Good for you, I thought. I had gotten to the core.
But the anxiety didn’t dissipate. I decided to turn to my old therapist who had helped me through so many trials in my life. We set up a zoom call. We discussed how this is a rite of passage for both of us. Here are the nuggets of gold that came out of our meeting:
1) It’s normal and natural to grieve the process of change, while you are also excited about upcoming change.
2) That this was uncharted territory between us. Could I choose the perspective of being excited about this new exploration together?
3) That I-literally-did not know how to let go and not be in charge. I had always had to be in charge, from the time I was four years old. Now it was time to LET GO and allow Gabrielle to be the one to make the decisions. I could support her, AND I was not the one in charge.
4) THIS WAS THE BIG ONE: I simply didn’t know how to “play this part.” That was the real core of the anxiety. That set me free.
I share this with you because, sometimes, we can choose to allow ourselves to ask for guidance and clarity from those we trust. I know that is what I do with all of you in our private sessions. I strive to help you uncover the core of what is creating the block and causing the anxiety. It’s ok to ask for help, guys…from doctors, friends, counselors, family and, even, your children.
Now I Am free to feeeeeel the joy and excitement of my grandson’s arrival. And I have every intention to make this the greatest part I will ever create.
Blessings,
DEE
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