So I have been in the process of very consciously reprogramming myself around beliefs and feelings that…haven’t felt good.
Most of them are around ” They don’t like me,” or “They don’t want to be around me,” or ” I don’t fit in.” Being immersed on a set for 14 hours a day can really heighten anything that makes you feel weaker, and so I have gotten to really delve into this annoying mindchatter and watch how I often default into that reaction.
I know many of you share this challenge of ,” I feel like I don’t belong.” So let’s explore it together. First of all, it doesn’t make any sense. Over and over again, people came up to me and told me how good I was, how gracious I was, how they enjoyed working with me.
BUT. And every time I went to the but, it was mine. But no one called for dinner. But no one could go out. But I felt not included.
BUT. Who did I call? Whom did I reach out to? You see, when we have that belief system in place, we KEEP OURSELVES from creating the experiences we want because we have decided the outcome already, and so we never follow through in the creation of what we want…the experience we are accepted. And it continues to be ” them” and we continue to create the experience we don’t want and the circle continues. It’s exhausting, and it’s not fun, and we don’t get what we want.
So let’s STOP IT!! (WATCH THIS)
So every time I felt that old feeling or heard that old thought, I corrected myself: I am loved and appreciated and accepted.
AND I love appreciate and accept everyone as I wish to be.
I can absolutely trace this all the way back in memory to five years old when I entered school. I was different. I felt different.
But you know what? EVERYONE is different and unique. Let’s start accepting that and make it a GOOD thing. One of our community sent this to me, and I want to share it with you because it totally applies. They couldn’t remember where it originally came from, so forgive me for not acknowledging the original writer:
My dearest inner child, since you are the one who knows first hand
How unfortunate it was the way you were treated as a child.
Then you can you be the only one
Who teaches me how to love and serve you in the best way possible.
I apologize to you for trying so hard to be so overly capable
While ignoring you in the process.
Please become my teacher and show me how to love you
So I may infuse you with the safety you are waiting to receive.
Please let me know how I can love you right now while I remember the fact that the spiritual reason for why my parents acting that way,
Was to put me in the direction of my highest destiny.
Where I become the parent I never had – by becoming the opposite of how I was treated.
If my parents yelled, I speak to my heart softly.
If my parents admonished, I welcome everything with love.
If my parents hit, I wrap my arms around myself and I hold myself gentle.
If my parents never gave me a voice, I always ask questions that give myself the choice.
So that I can recognize very opposite of my parents’ behavior.
It’s the recipe in action steps of how I can learn to love myself better.
So please inner child become my teacher, as I remain your guardian.
As we merge together as one into the holy matrimony of unity consciousness.
As never before that I am now.
AND SO IT IS.
It’s beautiful, right? Again, let’s work with our Little Children to integrate with us in knowing how special and awesome we really are. You have no idea how powerful it is!
Great post. Thank you! When I recently got a surprising, wonderful, & very positive review at work, inside I was thinking “but I thought they thought I was stupid and inconsequential…” But, it was ME thinking this about myself. And it is a habit of mine. Or was. Now I am totally open to liking myself and believing in my capabilities.
I am just learning about Childhood Emotional Neglect, which is about not what happened to you as a child, or what your parents may have done, it is what DID NOT happen, such as positive attention and unconditional love, or simply enough positive attention. Anyway, it is eye-opening, and I am learning to review the information without blame or bitterness. Our self love is SO important. To the world, beside ourselves!
Hope I did not ramble too much, just wanted to say thanks for the post!