I hate it. I am simply no good at it. The doctor said get in bed, don’t talk for two days, and rest. Did I mention I hate it?
My mind keeps thinking of things to do. So I decided to channel what all this “sickness” was about. First of all, I don’t feel sick. Tired, yes. No voice, absolutely. So I claim, “I Know,” and get to work.
It occurs to me that these are the very same symptoms that hit me in February when I was doing the film Every Other Holiday. That was a big film, and this was a big weekend, both financially and with other major players. And what are two of my intentions for this year? Make better money and play with bigger names in every arena. So I was getting what I wanted.
The channel directed me to the Body Book.
First, I went to laryngitis, basically because I have no voice. (Did you read these words carefully?) It said: There is a fear of speaking up, and they are afraid to ask for what they want. It’s true in some cases. I definitely devalue my worth financially. My agent is on me all the time about that. But in these two cases, I was GETTING my worth! Then the channel directed me to page 200, and the subject
Huh? This is why it really helps to know how to use the book. Sometimes it’s the message, NOT the subject, that holds the key. Under that heading was: “Expression-suppression. There are issues of emotional suppression, repression or oppression.” So, basically, I am not asking for what I want. Or I don’t deserve to get it.
When you put it all together, I am not asking for what I want because I cannot accept and announce to myself my own greatness.
Welcome to a perfect example of our work: the little child fighting the adult. Part of me saying yes, while the other part says no. Me fighting me. So the more I create what I want, the more, sometimes, I have to pay for it. No more.
It would serve you well right now to ponder where you are in conflict with yourself. Is your Little Child in agreement with your adult self, or is your child playing small because of old teachings?
As soon as I got to it, I began feeling better. My body was responding to the integration. Sure, I am following doctor’s orders. I am just writing the eblast from bed! hehe
“When you feel the passionate desire for health and wellness, instead of the fear of being sick, your body responds to that desire.”
– Dee Wallace