So here I am in New Iberia, Louisiana.
It’s a strange little town that time has forgotten: lots of closed stores, one tiny main street, and only two decent restaurants to choose from. I am reminded again of what the channel brought in a year ago: those who adapt will thrive.
I am blessed to be working with amazing, talented, fun actors, a wonderful female director, and kind producers.
Yep, everything I have been claiming.
We had a very full, tough day this week. Lots of dialogue, lots of takes, and in this heat everyone was exhausted. There was one scene left between myself and the young lady playing my granddaughter, who I had grown to really care about in the three short days we had been working together. It was a long scene, an important scene, and I found myself in a rather emotional state that wasn’t correct for the scene. The more I tried, the less control of my emotions I could muster. I asked the director for a few moments to collect myself as I went to my room to do our work.
I knew that the scene resembled conversations and issues very close to those I had had with my daughter. I was aware of that underlying emotional content. But this release of tears I couldn’t understand.
The channel took me to the song, Happy Birthday. It had taken me there twice before this week. I stopped. Maybe I didn’t really realize what that meant, and when I asked, the highest definition was “self-celebration.”
Then, of course, it all made sense. The thing I want most for my daughter is to celebrate herself and love herself so much that she always knows … and allows herself to have … what really makes her happy.
And that is exactly what I was saying as this grandmother to her granddaughter: do not allow your fear to get in the way of choosing happiness. And the emotions were because I knew my daughter had conquered that.
I suppose that’s what the saying “Art imitates life” means. Or is it the other way around? I think it’s a circle. The Universe is always talking to us, partnering with us, guiding us toward our own self understanding.
Thank you, Universe, for encouraging me to be an actress who is vitally in touch with her heart. Even if you have to help her understand it at times.
Here’s to all of us trusting and loving ourselves enough to really feel and explore who we are.
“Acting has always been a way for me to express the emotions I had buried. If I hadn’t acted, I would have gone insane. In my acting class, I could let out my real tears and everyone thought it was the character. But no, it was me.”
-Tony Leung Chin-Wai