My nose has been running. Like…constantly. I don’t have a cold. I’m not living in the cold (thank God for California right now!) It wasn’t allergies. So I decided to consult the Body Book. Here is what it said: “Inner crying. There is an underlying sorrow that is in effect asking for help and love.”
Well, that stopped me.
I got quiet and asked, “What am I most sorrowful about?” And the first answer I heard…”Your country.” I burst into tears. Yes, it is true. I am grieving for my country. I am grieving for the separation, and the anger, and the inequality. I am grieving for the injustice. I am grieving for the lack of dignity and truthfulness. I truly never thought I would witness the horrific extremes that are taking place emotionally, spiritually, and now, physically. And everything in me wanted to scream, “THIS IS NOT OK. THIS IS NOT AMERICA.”
And then…I looked even deeper. What did all this represent? Abandonment. And “not belonging”. Which led to, “I Am not the God of Me.”
This, of course, threatened everything I know. Everything I teach. Everything I Am. I sat in the dark, quietly, and let the silent tears of not belonging, that had so long been held inside, fall down my cheeks. My heart emptied memory upon memory of feeling excluded and not belonging and being judged as different and not part of the group. I let myself grieve.
And then I asked myself what I wanted. And I got busy creating.
I Am the God of Me who belongs.
I Am the God of Me who is accepted.
I Am the God of Me who is respected and honored by all energy in this world.
I Am the God of Me who is creating a country and a world of understanding and equality.
I Am the God of Me creating a world of balance and love.
I Am the God of Me who knows I Am the God of Me. And I Am in Peace.
The tears finally subsided. My heart became calm. And my runny nose…is no more.
“The truth is: belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your self-acceptance, because believing you’re enough gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable, and imperfect.”